Anxious Gift Receiver?

Believe it or not, MANY people don't like receiving gifts. It's a form of social anxiety and is usually a result of guilt, fear of being in debt, inadequacy and dislike for the spotlight.

To become a counselor, I’ve had to learn some surprising things about how a person percieves things. One of them kind of relates to Christmas — and helps explain why I hate it so much (or more accurately, why it makes me deeply uncomfortable).

I’m someone who genuinely doesn’t receive physical gifts well. 🎁🫣 Like AT ALL. 🚫‼️ They tend to activate my nervous system in the opposite direction of joy and make me feel embarrassed and panicked.

What I do crave is validation and gratitude — things that are carefully thought, heard, or read, not seen or stored (unless in card or text form).

My love language is words of affirmation, and that’s where appreciation actually lands for me. (Sidenote: if you're unfamiliar with the 5 Love Languages I strongly encourage you to look it up! It is incredibly helpful for all kinds of relationships, romantic and otherwise!)

Encouragement, kind words, anything articulated proves genuine connection that engages my soul and makes me feel loved. Physical items, on the other hand, come with mental and emotional load that can shut me down instead of making me feel cared for.

This is also why I love photography so much. 💕📸💕 Pictures aren't things -- They are moments captured in a visual code (a language if you will). A photo says this mattered, this was seen, this moment counted and I can pull up on my phone and remind myself that I actually had/have a place in someone's life. 🫂

This isn’t about being ungrateful — it’s about knowing how I’m wired. If you ever feel the urge to “do something” for me, or show me love, words and acknowledgement truly mean more than things. Gifts though, will actually cause me anxiety.

I know how crazy this is considering I love to give people things--usually with a carefully articulated note from the heart. That's because most people like gifts, so I cater to them. Me, however, all I need is the card that came with the gift.

Coming from someone who experiences this, I'm so sorry if we ever seem ungrateful (what you’re actually seeing is us going into fight/flight/freeze mode). We really do appreciate the love — please just save our nerves and send it in another format! ❤️